When I led my first small group in college, I had no idea what I was doing. This was mainly because I was still getting used to what a small group was. The churches I attended before going to college didn’t have them. So when I started going to a college ministry and joined one of their student small groups, I was excited but also unsure of what to expect. I eventually became accustomed to the group’s focus on fellowship and Bible study. Soon I received an opportunity to lead my own college small group. And while I was able to apply what I knew from those who led me, I was still unsure of how to effectively lead the group and those within it.
My first couple of years leading a small group were anything but smooth. Over time, though, I began to learn what it looked like to lead a small group well. While there are still areas for me to improve, I’m grateful for how time and experience have made me feel more comfortable and confident as a leader. Though I am certainly not an expert on leading a church small group, here are five tips that I have learned from leading that can hopefully help you learn how to lead a church small group.
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Understand your church’s vision for small groups
Every church goes about small groups differently. For example, my last church called small groups “missional community groups” and saw them as a way to study Scripture and fellowship with one another, while also emphasizing serving the community for the sake of the gospel. My current church calls small groups “life groups.” While we meet to read God’s Word, the primary focus is fellowship and accountability.
Knowing your church’s vision for small groups helps you understand how to structure your small group time and what the expectations are—not only for you, but for the people within your group. Maybe your church wants small groups to reflect on the sermon preached last Sunday. Or maybe there is flexibility for leaders to choose their curriculum. If service is a part of your church’s vision for its small groups, then you will need to make sure that is a priority in your group, as well.
Take the time to understand your church’s vision so that you can make sure your group meets that vision.
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Get to know your people
As a leader, you want those in your group to trust you and feel comfortable with you. In fact, the more trust that is built between small group leaders and their people, the more likely it is that people in the group will share and be vulnerable. While the group time itself is a chance for you to get to know your people, be intentional about getting to know your people outside of the group. Ask them to go get coffee or invite them over for dinner. Ask them questions about themselves. Get to know the basic facts about them, like what they do for work or what they like to do for fun. But also get to know them on a spiritual level. Ask them to share their testimony with you or ask how things are going with their spiritual disciplines. As you get to know the people in your group, you will learn how to best support them and how you can pray for them. The people in your group will appreciate your intentionality with them and will eventually grow to trust you and lean on you for support.
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Take the time to prepare
If you’re a person who excels at preparing on the fly, then I applaud you! But most often, taking the time to prepare before leading a small group ensures that your small group time flows well and that the material being studied is taught well. Preparation for a small group could look like coming up with questions to ask the group. Or it could look like reviewing the questions your church has sent you to ask and answering them yourself so that you have something to share. It could look like reading over the Bible verses for your small group that you’re studying or material being used multiple times, perhaps even consulting a commentary for further instruction. The key is to know well what you want your people to know. You don’t have to be an expert, but your group will be looking to you to understand the material and ask questions. Preparing for your group time can also involve prayer. Spend time praying that God would help you lead well, that He would give you the words to speak and the wisdom to handle anything that you’re not prepared for, and pray that your time as a group would be fruitful and honoring to Him.
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Listen well
Let me confess something: I’m not always the best listener. This is because I’m often thinking about what I’m going to say next in conversation rather than what the other person is saying to me. But being a good listener involves understanding what someone is saying and responding to them accordingly. So as a small group leader, listen well during your small group time. When you ask a question, don’t just respond with what you have written down as your own answer for that question. Hear what your people have to say first. Create space for other people to respond to what others are saying or ask others what they think about what another person has shared. Then respond based on what you have prepared or how the Spirit is leading you in that moment. Be sure to listen well during any accountability or prayer time your group may have so you can also follow up with people in their group about their prayer requests.
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Lean on the Lord
Leading others is a gift, but leading others is hard. The people in your group can be frustrating sometimes. There will be times when small group attendance is low. You will experience moments when you don’t know the answer to a question or when someone derails small group time by going on a personal tangent. The difficulties that come with being a small group leader reveal our dependence on the Lord. He is the one who empowers us for the tasks of leading others. So we must depend on Him.
Pray a quick prayer to the Lord during your group time when you’re struggling to get your group back on track. Ask God to give your small group members a desire for fellowship when numbers are few. Pray for perseverance when leading feels wearisome. You don’t lead a small group in your own strength, you need God’s help. So keep leaning on Him to help you lead well.
