Earlier this summer I had a very challenging week. Going in, I knew it was going to be tiring and busy. That Wednesday was my first day back at work after three months of maternity leave, and on Saturday I was hosting a thirtieth birthday party for my husband. There was a lot to do and think about, and on top of it all, I was dealing with my three-month-old’s terrible reflux and inability to sleep longer than two hours at a time. And then on Monday afternoon, my two-year-old fell and fractured her collar bone. That evening, I spent a few hours in the urgent care, and even more time at home consoling her and trying to make her comfortable enough to sleep—all while my husband struggled to calm our screaming infant in the other room.
After my two-year-old finally fell asleep, I took my infant from my husband and began rocking him to sleep—it was 10:00 PM. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, and didn’t know what to do. So I pulled out my phone and texted the ladies from my church small group to ask for prayer. On our group chat, I was met with texts of encouragement and prayer that made me tear up. Then one by one each one of the ladies texted me individually offering to help in different ways. I had friends bringing us dinner, helping us watch our kids, helping me with the party planning and set-up, writing letters of encouragement, and checking in on us regularly in the following weeks. What started as a terrible, overwhelming, and isolating experience turned into a beautiful opportunity for me to see the beauty and necessity of good Christian community.
One of the many benefits of the Christian life is that we get to live it alongside others. As summer comes to an end, this is a great time to start thinking about getting plugged into a community of believers at your local church if you aren’t already. For some, however, the thought of this can be intimidating. You may feel nervous about whether people will like you or whether they will judge you. You may be afraid of getting hurt. Doing life with others is not always immediately easy, but the benefits far outweigh the cost. The Bible describes the Church as the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12). We are one body with many members. Doing the Christian life alone is like being a hand detached from the rest of the body. We need the Church and the Church needs us to function at its full capacity.
If you desire to make genuine and meaningful relationships with other Christians, but aren’t sure where to start, here are some practical tips for cultivating relationships as you go into the fall.
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Join a small group
The best and simplest way to build community is to find and join a regularly scheduled small group. Depending on the church, small groups will often be broken up based on location, availability, or stage of life. Getting plugged into a small group or Bible study is a great form of community accountability. The group typically meets at the same time(s) each week, so it removes the step of having to reach out weekly and coordinate meeting up with other Christians. Every small group is slightly different, but they all provide a place for you to spend time with other Christians, study the Bible together, and pray with one another.
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Look for opportunities to serve
One of the best ways to get plugged into a community is through service. Nothing is as unifying as working with another person to accomplish a task or fulfill a mission. Maybe your church has opportunities for serving on Sunday mornings with kids or with newcomers. Or maybe there are service opportunities throughout the week that you can get involved in.
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Keep it simple
As with most things, community is something we tend to overthink. But it doesn’t need to be overcomplicated. If you enjoy a conversation with someone in your small group, get their phone number and schedule a coffee date. If you already have friendships within your church, cultivate them by sending your friends encouragement or prayer over text. If you want to hang out with church friends more but feel too busy, invite them to go grocery shopping with you. Keep it simple and creative. Not every hang-out needs to be a Bible study or prayer time. Feel free to just do life together!
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Do a Bible study on friendship
Our Bible study, Craving Community: A Bible Study on Friendship is a great way to dig deeper into what Scripture has to say about the importance of community and friendship for the Christian life. Understanding God’s vision for the Church can encourage us as we set out to build lasting relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. You could even gather a few people from your church to go through the study with you.
My church community has truly been one of the biggest blessings in my life. We have cried together through miscarriages, the deaths of parents, and the loss of jobs. We have rejoiced together over marriages, new babies, and new homes. They have been there for me when I needed help—I didn’t cook a meal for two months after both my kids were born—and we have shared many fun memories together like birthday parties, playdates, and shopping trips. I would have none of this if I didn't decide to go to small group six years ago and cultivate those relationships over time.
