I need to trust in God’s timing right now, which I’ve tried to do, but sometimes it’s just hard.
I wrote these words in my journal at a time when my singleness weighed heavy on my heart.
All my friends were either in a relationship or getting married but not me. Although these words were written four years ago, and my marital status has since changed, I can recall those feelings of doubt, frustration, and loneliness when I was single. I can remember how I voiced prayers of trust to God with my lips but struggled to actually trust God with my heart.
If you are currently in a season of singleness, it might feel difficult to trust God. Maybe someone has encouraged you to “trust God in your singleness,” but you are unsure what that actually means. Though singleness can be hard, you can trust God in your singleness by remembering your true calling, surrendering control to God, and considering God’s character.
Remember your true calling
While relationships and marriage are gifts, marriage is not the end-all and be-all. Our truest calling as humans is not found in our relationship with man but in our relationship with God. When God created humans, He created them for Him. He created us to worship Him and be in a personal relationship with Him. Although God established the first marriage in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s primary role was to worship the Lord. The entrance of sin tainted our worship of the Lord, causing us to naturally rebel against God and glorify other things. But our calling remains the same.
In fact, when we come to faith in Christ, we are enabled to pursue our calling as worshippers more joyfully and willingly. We are given the desire and help we need to put God first and obey Him in all things. So in your singleness, remember that your ultimate purpose is to love God and make His name known. Serving the Lord and being a faithful disciple of Christ is not contingent on your relationship status. While God’s plans for your life may include marriage, do not wait until you are married to put God first and faithfully worship Him.
Our tendency to control is great. We may know that God is the One who is sovereign, the One who is ultimately in control of all things, but actually putting that knowledge into practice is difficult. It is possible for us to pray with open hands, telling God that we trust Him and His timing, to then find ourselves clutching control and trying to make things happen in our own power and timing. In singleness, this might look like downloading dating apps and spending hours searching for the perfect person. Or this might look like jumping at every opportunity for a date. While dating apps or going on dates is not wrong, going about them with a desire to control the outcome is wrong.
Proverbs 19:21 reminds us that, “Many plans are in a person’s heart, but the Lord’s decree will prevail.” You can do everything in your power to change your relationship status, but God’s plans for you will come to fruition no matter what. Surrendering control to God is hard, especially because you do not know if His plans for you include marriage. But when you open up your hands and surrender control to God, your heart is more able to trust God. Instead of scrambling around, always consumed with your relationship status, you are able to be still and allow God to work in your life. So in your singleness, seek to surrender control to God. This act of surrender will probably look like an everyday, moment-by-moment act, but the more you seek to place control in God’s hands, the more you will trust His plans for you.
Consider God’s character
In your singleness, you might struggle to trust that God is good. You might see other people getting into relationships or becoming married and think, God is being cruel because He isn’t giving me what I want. You may even be led to believe that God favors others more than you because He is giving them relationships and not you. This is why daily remembering and rooting ourselves in God’s character is so important.
When we open Scripture, we are reminded that God is a God who is perfectly holy, good, and just. There is no partiality with God (Romans 2:11), which means that God will not grant marriage to someone and not another because He loves or favors one more. God’s character remains the same no matter our marital status. He is good, kind, merciful, and just to all of His own. So if it feels as if God has set you aside in your singleness, open up God’s Word and consider God’s character. Remember who God is and who He promises to always be no matter your season of life.
Additional resources on singleness