What do you feel like when you belong? 

My birthday dawned with more dread than delight that April 2020. My state’s COVID regulations asked people to stay in their own counties, and two of my kids lived nearly two hours away from our cabin in the woods. I started the day bemoaning, “I can’t see them. And it’s my birthday!” 

And then I heard a knock on the front door. 

I opened the door, and there they stood—our two oldest kids. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I reached up to hug our six-foot-one son and reached out to hug our daughter. “Wow! It’s you!” 

But the surprise wasn’t over. 

My husband emerged saying, “Pack a backpack with your pajamas and a toothbrush, and put on your warm coat.” 

Soon we were on the path into the woods, walking. We got almost to the end of the seven acres when my husband said, “There, look up.” 

And I looked up the mountain to see a giant hand-hewn table. 

As we got nearer he said, “Welcome to Camp Overton! Happy birthday!” 

I learned that, with the help of anyone with a strong back, he’d been secretly carrying lumber back there for months, building not only this table and its benches but clearing a flattened area for a tent, hanging hooks between two pine trees for a hammock, and hanging a string of white lights above it all. 

The kids spread out a charcuterie board and filled my glass. The next morning, they reappeared with a big thermos of pour-over coffee and made pancakes on a camp stove. 

How do you feel when you experience that you belong and matter? 

I felt awe. Loved. I felt lighter, better able to carry the heaviness of leading an organization during COVID, mothering an at-home college student, and navigating “unprecedented” adaptations because of a weird new virus. 

But what about when you don’t feel you belong or matter? 

If you’re like me, you feel flattened and unsure. 

A number of things can make us feel like we don’t belong. Carrying loss, health concerns, financial strain, or the ache of growing older. Lying awake at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. thinking about bills and debt, house repairs, childcare, parent care, career worries, or wondering if they’re somehow not living up to their potential. Still others feel “disconnected in their connection”—technologically connected yet socially disconnected at the same time. 

My birthday in the woods reminds me that when we experience that we belong and matter, we feel our best and become our best. Staying rooted in our belonging and importance matters for our best with God, for ourselves, and for others. 

Believe You Belonged and Mattered from the Start 

When I first spotted her—I’ll call her Emily —she had chosen a seat at the back of a large conference room where I was speaking about living our God-given purpose. 

At first I wondered why she was sitting in the uncomfortable chairs pushed against the wall when there were comfy chairs up front with everyone else. Then I noticed a man standing nearby rocking a baby beside a stroller. 

Ah. That’s why. 

But you know what? I wanted more for Emily. Sure, the reason she sat at the back seemed mundane enough—perhaps she didn’t want her child to bother anyone. But I still wanted more for her. I wanted her to feel free to step into the middle of the room, into the center of the people and purposes she was made for. I wanted her to know she belonged in that room.

There’s an Emily who lives in each of us. A part of ourselves that feels pushed to the back of the room—a place we won’t “get in the way.” Our lives get too full, and we get too anxious. We lose hope. We ask questions like, “Am I a good enough mom? Friend? Person?” and “Does anyone care?” 

Sometimes we wonder if we’re failing at what matters most. 

But guess what? The truth is, we belong and matter in every season because God created us to belong and matter. We just have to believe that we do.

When I became CEO of a mothering ministry known as The MomCo by MOPS, I wanted to know how more of us could step in and belong in spaces when we had every reason not to—something my own mother showed me was possible. So I searched the Bible, asking, “Who are the people God works through greatly?” What I found surprised me. 

These were people who usually put themselves at the back of the room—or somebody else put them there. 

Women like Hagar, who was mistreated. 

Women like Esther, who was orphaned and vulnerable. 

Women like Mary, a teenage girl who risked shame and rejection. 

God didn’t choose people who were at the top of their game. God took servants, orphans, adolescents, and people like you and me. If we let Him, God will take us by the hand and walk us into the center of His purpose. From the very beginning, when God made us in His image, we were given a place to belong and matter.

Belong with People Who Encourage You 

What else did I see in those who step in?

They belong to others, and together they help each other do what God made them for. 

Most weeks, I talk and pray with a close friend. When hard things happen and I feel intimidated or overwhelmed, she reminds me, “God shows up.” She’s the friend I text when my world falls apart and two minutes later, she calls me. 

Even when I can’t form words, she speaks hope to me. 

Belonging with her encourages me to keep living as a person who belongs to God. We see this throughout Scripture, too. 

Esther gathered people to fast and pray with her before approaching the king. Mary sought out Elizabeth, someone who could understand and strengthen her. Even Hagar encountered God in the middle of isolation and despair. 

How do we keep ourselves in that place of belonging in every season? 

By being with people who encourage you—and people you encourage—to do God’s good work. 

For many moms, isolation becomes normal. We care for everyone else while quietly carrying our own discouragement alone. But we were never meant to do that. God gives us people who remind us who we are. 

Become by Stepping Forward in Faith 

As these women believed God and found belonging, something happened: They became more of who God made them to be.

Often, the people God invites to step into the center aren’t ready, prepared, or qualified. But we don’t become ready by preparing. We become ready as we step our way toward growth. Sometimes those steps are dramatic. Other times they are small, steady, and faithful. 

Hagar became as she encountered the God who saw her. 

Esther dared to go against the king’s expectations. 

Mary simply said yes. 

Each of these women could have headed to the back of the room. They were ordinary people in extraordinary messes. 

And in our ordinary lives and extraordinary messes, we belong and matter too. 

One of the hardest steps I ever took was stepping away from a visible leadership position when I knew God was calling me to leave. I couldn’t imagine how to do it, so the first step I took was to start fasting every Friday until dinner time, praying and asking God for discernment and wisdom. 

That went on for months. 

But it made me able to hear God’s voice and trust God. And when it was time to go, I recognized the window and went. 

What is the first step for you? 

You may not know yet—and that’s normal. But by praying, reading Scripture, and asking wise people for counsel, in time you’ll know what to do next, no matter your season. 

And when you do, I hope you’ll sense it as an invitation and not a way to make God happy with you. 

You Don’t Need to Wait—You Belong and Matter in This Season 

At the end of my talk, I looked up and saw Emily, the young mom from the back row, standing before me with her husband and stroller. 

They had clearly come on purpose. Her husband said, “I want to thank you.” Then she explained, “Until today, I thought doing something that really matters meant I’d have to wait until my kids are grown.” 

Her eyes sparkled as she continued: 

“Now I know that yes, I want to be here for my family. But it goes beyond that. I can serve God with my family. I don’t need to wait.”

Maybe you need that reminder, too. 

You belong to God. You matter to the people you encourage and the people who encourage you. And you matter in who God invites you to become. 

You belong and matter in every season.

Author Bio:

Dr. Naomi Cramer Overton, MBA, is past president and CEO of the MomCo by MOPS, Stonecroft Ministries, and is the founder and CEO of Becoming (wearebecoming.org). She is also the General Editor of Every Woman’s Bible, a Tyndale House Publishing bestseller and an ECPA award finalist. As a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend, Naomi thrives by throwing impromptu gatherings, experimenting with recipes using international seasonings, and listening to people’s stories. Her ideal morning starts with praying the Bible while holding a cup of coffee and then puttering in her garden, with a small dog underfoot.

Additional Resources:

Path to Purpose | Ecclesiastes Bible Study		Faith Questions - Purpose		Beloved		Worthy | Identity Bible Study
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