Adoption into God’s Family: The Forgotten Jewel of the Gospel

He predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.
— Ephesians 1:5

Adoption, an idea that could only have originated in the heart of God, is one of the most beautiful experiences in our fallen human world.

It’s also one of the hardest.

As an adoptive parent recently explained to me, the expectations before adoption and the lived reality of adoption are miles apart.

Adopted children often don’t conform immediately to a new family, a new home. Even infants somehow carry with them the family history of their birth parents, trauma and all.

What do you do when the love you want to show in the way you want to show it triggers a reaction of destructive or harmful behavior?

What about when you do everything perfectly by the book and you’re met with anger and fear?

What happens when your most selfless acts of love are met with rejection…again and again?

Adoption is like finding a jewel—not in a jewelry store, but straight from the rock.

Adoption: Finding Jewels

Jewels come from the dirt or are found grafted into rock, and would stay that way if not for someone finding them who knows how to recognize them in that state—someone who knows what they’re worth.

But given our typical perception of pure, sparkly jewels, the ones that have just come out of the dirt—rough, unshaped, unpolished, and as unrecognizable as the name they are given—would be unwanted by the average person, not valued as the priceless things that they are. They would just be rocks.

But if that person is a jeweler, if that person knows exactly what an unpolished jewel looks like, then they can unearth something far more valuable.

Now, think about something for a moment: the likelihood of finding a priceless jewel is often quite small.

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
— Matthew 13:44–46 ESV

Finding jewels is hard work—even accidental at times.

But the One who knows every grain of sand knows where to find the jewels. And He sends us to unlikely places—wide open “boring” fields. He puts in our hearts the desire to search for one-in-a-million pearls hidden in just-like-all-the-rest oysters—because it’s a desire of His own heart.

God is our Jeweler. He finds us in the dirt. He pulls us out and breaks us away from the places we’d be stuck if not for His intervention. He begins to cut away and to polish, using rough tools we might avoid if it were up to us.

Then he shapes us, using cuts with greater and greater precision, polishes us to a remarkable shine. He makes us so that His light can get in, so that it reveals His glory, a dazzling display not visible without it. Now we are not just clean. We are counted as worthy in the sight of the Lord.

Worthy of a setting. Worthy of a crown. Worthy of a King.

And the jewel was there, in the rough dirty rock, in the wide open boring field, the whole time…until it was found.

That’s adoption.

It’s hard—but worthy—work.

The Spirit of Adoption

The gospel is good news. For an orphan, though, it might appear too good to be true, filtered through their formation of abuse, trauma and neglect.

But God has a solution: His own Spirit.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
— Romans 8:15, ESV

God’s Spirit, the Spirit of adoption, awakens within us a desire for our true Father, and the childlike longing for His love.

But how often, in spite of God’s perfect love for us, do we act out, fuss, complain, reject Him, or try to earn it? How often do we still live as orphans, defaulting to a survival mentality built on self-reliance?

We taste the bread and wine, only to push away from the table and declare “I’m full,” wishing instead for cheap junk food for our souls.

We have been adopted as His children, yet we don’t know how to be true sons and daughters, trusting His love, and resting in His embrace.

It is the Holy Spirit who bridges the chasm between us and the Father and draws us closer to Him. Closer and closer. Pointing us home.

God’s Family, the Antidote to Individualism

Our culture has, for a long time, praised individualism, promoting self-discovery, self-achievement, and self-reliance. The widespread adoption of AI tools like ChatGPT and smartphone “assistants” reveals the orphan culture we live in. Here’s a tool to help you do it on your own. You don’t need to count on anyone else.

Learn to do anything, get immediate simple answers to all your questions, talk to the opposite sex, get encouraged when you need it, make sure you're doing something right, learn the mysteries of life or the Bible or the universe, explore all your secret thoughts and desires…and do it all alone without needing the uncertainty of human relationship. Do it all without the process of apprenticeship, the journey of struggle toward competency, or the hard work of relating and bonding and trusting over time. It sounds enticing, but it reinforces the orphan heart.

We were made to desire a Father. We were all made to grow into maturity by following a Son, because we, too, are the Father’s children. We were all born looking for a face looking for us. A human face, not the face of a smartphone. We are not orphans. We have a Father. That is the forgotten jewel of the gospel—an invitation to no longer live as a forgotten jewel.

How Should an Adopted Child Act?

Jesus, our Brother (Romans 8:29), is our example. The Son of the Father who has adopted us.

He has invited us to follow Him, to “see” the Father by seeing him, to conform to His image, to act and live and move and be what a child of God should be. Yes, Jesus came to reveal the Father, but also to reveal you, the child of the Father.

The terms of adoption are simple: Follow your older Brother. Join the family. Love your Father. Love others as you love yourself. Surrender the orphan identity. Be a child of God. Trust the Father’s love. Grow up into maturity.

Will you accept the terms of the adoption?