Cloudy Vision
Originally published in Be Still Magazine, issue 6.
"In the year King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and His train filled the temple." – Isaiah 6:1
In our times of grief and desperation, that is often when we most need a vision of the Lord. But sometimes our vision is cloudy. It can be caught up by bitterness and hurt and anger. It can be clouded by distraction, earthly preparations, and hurried busyness.
But if we are going to truly see the Lord, in all his glory, high and lifted up, we let the hard times throw us at His feet. We let the exhaustion carry us to His rest. We let the pain and frustration take us to His shoulders where we cast our burdens. We allow our limited understanding to lean us into His heart.
When I'm grieving, the last thing it feels like is that "the whole earth is full of His glory."
The thing is that God doesn't change His position or status when bad things happen. He is still sitting high and lifted up.
Our finite minds seethat glory better when we personally feelglory. But to really have His essence revealed? We come when no glory is left in us. When our sin has bound us and our hopes have fled and our cancer is back and our grief is unbearable.
That is when we are supernaturally able to see Christ bigger than us and our mess.
"And I said, 'Woe is me! For I am undone because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips. For my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.'" – Isaiah 6:5
To see ourselves lower means to see Him higher.
"Then one of the Seraphim flew to me with a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar in his hand. And he laid it on my mouth, and said, 'This has touched your lips, and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is purged.'" – Isaiah 6:6-7
To forsake our sin means to be forgiven.
To discard our unclean lips is to kiss the righteousness of God.
To close our eyes to the ugly is to see the King – the Lord of hosts.
"Also I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?' Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me.'" – Isaiah 6:8
And only then will we see ourselves as God sees us. The chosen ones – the ones whom He will send. The ambassadors of the Trinity.
Only when we are undone can He make us whole.
So what occurs when I view it that way? It almost makes me hope that everything doesn't go perfectly today.
Because I don't want to forget about Him.
I want my brokenness to lead me straight to Him.
