Gospel-Centered Motherhood
Just over a year ago, I made my debut in the beautiful and messy season of motherhood. Pregnancy was a whirlwind of emotion—excitement, anxiety, anticipation, and overwhelm all simultaneously filled my days. Then the day came, I held my beautiful daughter in my arms and felt peace and joy and fulfillment…for about five seconds. Then fear and inadequacy rushed over my mind. The first year of my daughter’s life was filled with the best moments of my life so far, as well as the most exhausting and overwhelming moments. Then around the time she turned one, I finally felt some confidence. My child was talking, walking, eating solid food, and was generally a happy kid. I had done it. I kept her alive and met her needs for a whole year—I must have mastered parenting. From here out—I thought—it would be easy. But then… immediately after I had said the word, “No,” my little girl looked me dead in the eyes, smiled, and then dropped her plate on the kitchen floor. Maybe I had “mastered” the basic care aspect of parenting, but I already knew that I was no match for the discipline aspect.
What God has really taught me through this season is that there is no “mastery” that can be achieved when it comes to motherhood, in the same way that there is no mastery when it comes to everyday life. If we really desire to live out gospel-centered motherhood, the first step is admitting our failures and our desperate need for God’s provision every step of the way.
The Apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:8–10 come to mind. He was wrestling with some unspecified struggle, and through it he was able to take comfort in his weaknesses, saying,
“Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
In the same way, I have found that the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood has primarily revealed my own inadequacy and weakness. I do not have all the answers; I do not always know what is best for my child; I do not always have control of my emotions or actions. But thanks be to God! In the midst of all my failings and weaknesses, His power is perfect, because His grace is sufficient. Therefore, my boasting never needs to be in my own abilities, but in Christ and His goodness and provision.
This is the gospel—that Christ did what I am consistently unable to do, and continuously empowers me by His grace. By His grace I was saved from my sins, and by His grace He sanctifies me day by day. I know it was His grace that led me through my pregnancy. It was His grace that brought me through delivery; His grace that brought me through that first week with my daughter, through the first months, and through every stage up until this point. And I can rest assured that His grace will continue to guide me through every step, every emotion, and every stage that faces me for the rest of my lifelong journey through motherhood.
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