I was single well into my thirties. Like many others, I always assumed I would marry right out of college, purchase the perfect home with my husband, and begin building a family, all by the age of twenty-five. However, with each passing year, the life unfolding before me was nothing like my plan. Holding onto what, in my mind, were broken dreams, I wept more tears than I’d like to admit. I felt behind in more ways than I could count. Yet, I knew the love and kindness of my heavenly Father.
Perhaps, as I did, you find yourself in that place. You hear of another friend meeting someone or getting engaged, and for a moment, your heart drops just a little, your throat tightens, your stomach knots. Then you quickly pull yourself together and remember to celebrate with them in their joy. In moments like these, you can’t understand your waiting. You keep trying not to care. But the tears still manage to eventually find their way out—alone in your car, laying down to sleep, behind closed doors.
You, too, know the love and kindness of your heavenly Father, even as you cry out to Him with your questions—But Lord, where are You in this waiting? How do I apply the gospel and the truth of Your Word to this hard season?
- Let this waiting point you to the hope of One who is greater.
Even the most God-fearing husband cannot love you to the extent that Christ does, for no one is exempt from the worldly brokenness brought about by the Fall (Genesis 3). There will be times a husband may push away from you, he may fail to be loving, or he may fail to be a faithful companion.
While marriage is a good thing created by God and full of much joy, it cannot solve all of our problems or offer us what only Christ can give: hope for the greatest joy to come in One whose plans and whose character are greater than our own. May your hope in singleness rest there.
Our God will never disappoint. The Lord holds you closer (Isaiah 41:10), loves you more (Romans 8:37–39), and is the most constant companion (Hebrews 13:5). In fact, Jesus’s love for you is so big that He gave His life so that you could spend eternity with Him (John 3:16). One day, He will return to call home His bride, the Church, and just as we might wait for a husband, we wait expectantly for that day when One who is greater will come.
2. Let this waiting draw you closer to Him.
It is often through seasons of waiting that we learn more about Christ’s heart for us. We come to know Him in ways we might not otherwise have ever known. We draw closer to Him than we might otherwise have ever come.
We learn that God’s heart for us is one of a provider, providing all that we need in grace and mercy in our struggle, strength and wisdom on our path. We learn that His heart for us is one of a kind friend, who walks beside us in our sadness, encouraging us along the way as we seek Him in His Word. We learn that He cares about us and is the author of every detail of our lives. We can remember that the work He began in us, He will see to completion (Philippians 1:6)—any pain will not be wasted.
Even through tears of singleness, He works to make us more like Himself. And as we learn more of who He is, we can begin to mirror that character in our lives to those around us—that they too would come to know the One who is greater and draws near.
3. Let this waiting make room for a ministry of serving others.
We can use our past or current season of singleness to minister to those around us. We can find joy in recycling our pain for a greater purpose of pointing others to our kind and loving Savior, whose hand is active in every part of our lives.
Through every chapter, He is working. For as long as this season of singleness may last—whether for a moment or for a lifetime—know it will surely find complete redemption when Christ returns for us, His bride.
Today, we can use the tears that fall from our own eyes as balm for others—coming alongside them as Christ does for us in our own waiting. Through our service to others, may our words and actions remind them of the hope we know in Christ. May our testimony sing of the greater One to come.
Though tears may still fall at times, know that you are not behind. Your life and its timeline rest in the hands of a kind and loving God, whose plan for you is perfect and greater than any plan you could write for yourself. As you glance behind at glimmers of broken dreams, look then quickly ahead to the fullness of joy and life everlasting that await you in the open arms of Christ.
Additional resources on singleness:
- How to Care for Singles in Your Church – Daily Grace Blog