Friendships can be hard to come by. In our online world, we get to see the thoughts and the faces of hundreds—or even thousands—-of people every day while simultaneously feeling the pain of isolation. For those of us who are married, we might believe all our relational needs ought to be met by our spouses, but that’s far from the truth. And for those who are single, the moment friends enter into a romantic relationship, they often drift away, leaving us feeling lonely and confused about the purpose of friendship. Personally, I have been blessed with great friendships I have had since my childhood, but I still struggle to make and keep new friends as an adult. I’m either too busy or too awkward to make plans or do the work necessary to cultivate godly relationships. 

If you are anything like me, you are likely curious about what the Bible has to say about friendship. Maybe you have asked, “How can I make friends?” Or “What makes a friendship a godly friendship?” Here are three things the Bible teaches us about friendship that can serve as a guide as you seek to make and maintain Christian friendships.

1. Friends Love One Another 

While it may seem obvious, there is no better way to create and maintain a friendship than to show love to one another. Proverbs 17:17a tells us that “a friend loves at all times.” 1 Peter 4:8 encourages us to “maintain constant love for one another.” But what does this love look like? Or more specifically, what does love require of us? The Bible is clear that true love is sacrificial. John 15:13 says, “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.” Showing love to our friends involves giving up our own desires, interests, and concerns for the sake of our friends—knowing that they too are called to do the same for us. This is especially exhibited by Christ—who laid down His life for not only His friends, but His enemies. 

2. Friends Forgive One Another 

Building lasting friendships requires recognizing the reality of sin. Our friends are sinners, and we are sinners. As Christians, we can best recognize and deal with the sin in our friendships through the lens of forgiveness. When we sin against our friends—whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are called to acknowledge our wrongdoing, confess it to our friend, and ask for forgiveness. Likewise, when our friends sin against us and repent, we can follow in Christ’s footsteps and forgive them. As Jesus was being led to His death, He prays, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If He can forgive His people for putting Him to death, how much more should we be willing to forgive our friends? 

3. Friends Encourage One Another 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build each other up.” Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works.” An essential aspect of friendship is encouragement. We are to cheer each other on in our accomplishments and diligent work. We are to point out the good qualities we see in each other, and recognize each other for the good deeds we do, and look for opportunities to encourage one another to do more good deeds. Once again, Jesus embodied this aspect of friendship well. When He was with His disciples, He encouraged them by teaching them and exhorting them to do good works (Matthew 5:1–2), and He empowered them by sending them out to preach the gospel (Luke 10:1). And He continues to encourage us today through His Spirit, who not only encourages and comforts us, but also empowers us to produce the fruit necessary to make and maintain good and lasting friendships (Galatians 5:22–26). 

Being a sacrificial, forgiving, and encouraging friend is a great start to cultivating godly friendship. By doing these things, we embody characteristics of friendship that Jesus Himself displayed. 

If you wish to take a deeper look at the Bible’s teaching on friendship, check out our Bible Study on Friendship, Craving Community, or our new resource, What a Friend We Have in Jesus. 

Additional Resources for Building Biblical Friendships:

• Craving Community(alt text: Craving Community | TDGC)

• What a Friend We Have in Jesus(alt text: What a Friend We Have in Jesus | TDGC)

• Better Together: A Guide on Discipleship(alt text: Discipleship Guide | TDGC)

• Friendship Anthology(alt text: Friendship Anthology | TDGC)