At the top of a page in my journal, I stare at words I’d written months ago: What kind of woman do I want to be? 

I can’t remember the day or occasion on which I wrote them. I don’t know what prompted the inquiry. But as I read them afresh it ignites something in me. A subtle yet steady longing for intentionality that has been overshadowed by the busyness of life. 

Between the demands of family, church, and work, my days are often planned and ordered months in advance. I check my calendar each week to get a sense of where I’m supposed to be and when. I go over my to-do list daily to understand what I have to get done to fulfill these demands before I go to bed each night. To be fair, this Enneagram Three loves productivity and the contentment that comes from executing and eliminating items off my to-do list! 

But having the luxury of time to sit and ponder the question of what kind of woman I want to be stirs my soul. It reminds me that I’m more than an executor of tasks. I was created for purpose, not productivity. I’m here to glorify God, not get stuff done. But often the latter overshadows the former, with my days becoming centered around task management and my heart drifting into the chaos of disordered loves. And before long, I no longer recognize myself. 

This is not the kind of woman I want to be: a high-capacity, always-reliable . . . exhausted drifter. 

I want to be the kind of woman whose steps are intentional, whose walk is worthy, whose life isn’t dictated by a calendar, but whose days are purposefully lived for the glory of God. 

What kind of woman do I want to be? A God-fearing one. A Christ-exalting one. A Spirit-filled one. 

A God-Fearing Woman

It’s easy to fear man, isn’t it? Obviously we don’t want to, but it often feels like our default setting. It’s normalized since many of the people around us are likewise enslaved to the path of least resistance. But God’s Word calls us to a better fear. A holy fear. Proverbs 31:30 (ESV) says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” As our fear of man propels us to mistakenly pursue man’s praise, Scripture tells us that it’s the fear of the Lord that is praiseworthy. 

Not only is it praiseworthy, but fearing God and keeping His commandments is our whole duty (Ecclesiastes 12:13). The Bible asks, “what does the LORD your God require of you?” and answers, “to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?” (Deuteronomy 10:12–13, ESV).

We were not made to be worshiped by others, but to worship our God and Father. This holy fear is our whole duty. It’s what God requires of his children. It is good. And a God-fearing woman worships rightly and obeys joyfully. She believes her King is only good and only wants what’s good for her. She believes He is trustworthy and she worships Him by living a life of obedience for His glory and for her good, as well as for the good of others who see her witness and go and do likewise. This is the kind of woman I want to be.

A Christ-Exalting Woman

I get chills when I read the chorus of heaven, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” (Revelation 5:12, ESV). Christ our King is worthy of our exaltation. If we get to spend eternity joining with the multitudes to glorify our Redeemer, shouldn’t we gladly invest our energy and utilize our voices to lift Him up here on earth? 

We are proclamation people. Scripture teaches, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9, ESV). We get to be Christ’s excellency proclaimers! This is a communal call to all who’ve been adopted by Him. 

The psalmist writes, “Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!” (Psalm 34:3). A Christ-exalting woman values both the private and the collective instinct of His people to praise Him. She uses her words and her actions to declare His glory. Every time she courageously hopes, bravely speaks, sacrificially gives, and joyfully perseveres, she declares “Jesus is Lord!” Her obedience, her steadfastness, and her praise testify to the goodness and worthiness of Christ. This is the kind of woman I want to be.

A Spirit-Filled Woman

To be God-fearing and Christ-exalting, we must first be filled with the Holy Spirit. Our Father supplies what He requires of us. We can’t be any kind of woman who pleases Him without His Spirit empowering us to do so. His Word exhorts us to “be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18, ESV). We are dependent and He is generous: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22–23, ESV).

The Holy Spirit living inside us bears the fruit of Christ’s righteousness. This fruitfulness produces faithfulness to our God and His Word. We can’t muster up the right words or the best behaviors on our own. A Spirit-filled woman abides in Christ and, as my pastor says, “lives out of the overflow of a Christ-adoring heart.” As she beholds, she becomes. She loves, brings joy, practices patience, and models self-control because God is at work in her (Philippians 2:13), making her more like His Son every day (2 Corinthians 3:17–18). This is the kind of woman I want to be.

Kingdom-Minded Women

Maybe you want to be this kind of woman, too. Maybe you, like myself, aspire to be this kind of woman, but realistically find your steps hurried and wobbly, distracted and weary. Friend and fellow stepper, we need Jesus. We need Jesus to make us kingdom-minded women who walk worthily. Who step in the already/not-yet paradox of kingdom living. Women who know we’re just passing through as sojourners until we reign forever with Christ our King. 

Let’s be walking buddies. Let’s rally more women to walk with us. And let’s remember that sometimes we’ll walk with a limp. Sometimes we will stumble and fall. Let’s be real, we may even crawl at times! But we will be on the move. And movement matters. Who we move toward matters. May Christ fuel our steps.

But before we can do, we must be. So instead of thinking about all you need to do, prayerfully think about the kind of woman you want to be. By God’s grace, go be her. And see what God will do in and through her for his great glory.

Author Bio:

Christy Britton is a project manager for Send Network. She’s a member of Imago Dei Church in Raleigh, North Carolina, and also serves on the church staff. She’s married to Stephen, and they’ve raised four boys together.

Additional Resources for Living into Your Identity in Christ:

Chosen | Ephesians Bible Study		Worthy | Identity Bible Study		Good Christian Girl		Haggai
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