I have to admit, when I hear anyone bring up the “Proverbs 31 woman,” a part of me cringes. For me, such comments evoke images of cliché home decor—live, laugh, love written in a cursive script or Jeremiah 29:11 painted on a soft-toned canvas.

Maybe you hear “Proverbs 31” and are hit with a twinge of pain or shame. Thoughts of marriage, motherhood, and home-building come to mind, scraping against unmet desires or unrealistic expectations. It may remind you of times you’ve been at conferences where the Proverbs 31 woman is set up like a towering ideal that Christian women compare themselves to, a checklist for being a “super-mom” or “super-wife.” Or perhaps you bristle against the idea that the Proverbs 31 woman is described as a wife and mother—can’t you be a strong, godly woman regardless of your marital status? (Yes, by the way!)

We all come to Scripture with thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. But whenever I notice myself grumbling about passages, inching away from tough teaching, or growing weary with a book of the Bible, I know it’s time to lean in. I want to know what God is really communicating and how I can align myself with Christ. 

I say this because how we approach Scripture matters. So before we dive in, do a little self-evaluation. What hesitations do you have about the idea of the Proverbs 31 woman? What have you been told or taught? Are you open to having your mind renewed by the Holy Spirit in this area? 

Alright, let’s start where all good Bible study starts: context.

Proverbs 31 in Context

Proverbs is a book of wisdom filled with principles for leading a godly life. The foundation of these principles is the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). Fearing the Lord means responding rightly to His character—living in light of His holiness, His authority, and His love. The fear of the Lord is where the book of Proverbs begins and ends. 

Proverbs 31 is the last chapter of the book of Proverbs, and many say it’s a culmination of all the wisdom that has come before it. Proverbs is a book on how to walk the path of wisdom; Proverbs 31 offers a vivid illustration of what that walk ideally looks like. 

But when you open up your Bible to Proverbs 31, you may be surprised to find that the first section has nothing to do with the Proverbs 31 woman you keep hearing about. Proverbs 31:1–9 are sayings from King Lemuel’s mother about how to be a good king. Don’t ignore these verses in your personal study of this chapter, for, as one commentator puts it, “the first nine verses are an integral part of the ending—one passage by a woman and one about a woman.”¹ 

These first nine verses also serve as a reminder: All wisdom ought to be applied and studied by both men and women. Proverbs 31:10–31 isn’t only for women to read simply because it describes a godly woman. All of Proverbs, including the entirety of Proverbs 31, “is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16)—for all people. Every man and woman has much to learn from the wise example of the Wife of Noble Character. With that in mind, let’s take a look at this example of a wise life. 

Who Is the Wife of Noble Character?

Because Proverbs is a book of wisdom, so is Proverbs 31 a chapter of wisdom. The Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31 parallels many of the traits of Lady Wisdom, who is wisdom personified throughout the book of Proverbs. There are many, but let’s take note of some characteristics and actions of this Proverbs 31 woman.

• She is “noble” and “precious” (verse 10).

• Her husband and children trust her and are blessed by her; in turn, they bless her (verses 11–12, 15, 21–23, 28). 

• She works hard and sometimes rises while it is still night, is industrious, and serves her family with her hands and her head. She makes wise decisions in the marketplace (verses 13–19).²

• She cares for the poor, demonstrating her generosity and compassion; she takes care of others and herself (verse 20–22). 

• She builds up and enhances the reputation of her husband (verse 23).

• She is strong, both in body and spirit, and she doesn’t fear the future—in fact, she laughs! She speaks with wisdom and loving instruction. She is active, watching over her household; she is not idle (verses 25–27). 

• She is admired by her family (verses 28–29). 

• She is admired by the Lord. She has godly perspective and receives godly praise. She fears the Lord and values Him above her outward appearance (verses 30–31).³ 

When I read this list, my first thought is an uplifting Wow! I want to be like her! I think she sounds incredible. I certainly have much to learn from her—I want to be a blessing to others, a hard worker, strong in body and spirit, admired by the Lord, marked by compassion and godliness. 

So first, we can celebrate that God would give us this tangible example of godliness and wisdom—one that we can relate to and hope for!  

But quickly my feelings of inspiration turn to fear, insecurity, and resistance: I don’t think I can ever live up to that. And even if I wanted to, I’m not a wife or mother . . . Does this Scripture even apply to me?

As we consider applying this Scripture, let me reiterate: This proverb contains wisdom for both men and women, single or married. The Wife of Noble Character isn’t a checklist for becoming the perfect Christian, wife, or mother. She is an example of Christlike wisdom as expressed in the many roles a person may have. Her status serves to highlight her godly qualities; these qualities are what we ought to desire because they reflect the character of wisdom embodied—Christ Himself. 

Christ, Wisdom Embodied

When we read about figures like the Wife of Noble Character or about the life of Jesus, often our first instinct is to compare ourselves to them. It doesn’t take long to realize that the standard of the wise life is high—and in Jesus’s case, the standard is perfection. No matter how hard we try, we hopelessly fall short of that standard. We frequently make unwise decisions because we prefer to live for ourselves rather than in fear of the Lord. It’s true—we won’t ever become sinless like Jesus or become a “perfect Christian” as it seems this Wife of Noble Character is.

But here is where the sweet news of the gospel comes in. In the Christian walk toward wisdom, Jesus is our destination. We keep our eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). But He is also the light to our path, showing us the way forward (Psalm 119:105). He is the strength in our legs to keep walking, equipping us with all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). He is our Shepherd (Psalm 23:1), hemming us in behind and before (Psalm 139:5). He is the One who transforms our hearts and minds to become more like Him—to become like the One in whom “all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” are hidden (Colossians 2:3). 

We follow Jesus’s lead on the path of wisdom, taking up the high calling to follow Him, and we walk knowing that He has already promised to get us to our destination. 

Psalm 37:23–24 sums up this walk: “The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand” (NIV). 

Oh, the comfort in those verses. We want to live a wise life, like the Wife of Noble Character. But even as we stumble, the Lord has already planned our journey and promised to uphold us. When we sin by disrespecting our spouses or family members, when we choose laziness over committed work, when we choose ourselves over others, when we act selfishly or withhold generosity, the Lord sees our stumbles, corrects us with His wisdom, and upholds us even when we deserve to fall. It is His love and grace that compel us to live wisely—in a way that is pleasing to Him and uplifting to those around us.

Jesus doesn’t expect us to achieve perfection in this life. He knows we never will, at least not until He returns to make all things new. But in this life, He wants us to desire Him, and we cannot desire Jesus without desiring wisdom because Jesus is wisdom. 

The Wife of Noble Character gives us a practical, vivid image of wisdom embodied. She gives us direction to live by, not a measuring stick to beat ourselves with. And her illustration of wisdom is fully embodied by Christ. Jesus is the standard we strive for, the One who enables us to walk in wisdom, and the grace we need when we inevitably stumble. 

Notes:

1. Ryan Patrick O’Dowd, “Proverbs,” ESV Expository Commentary, 995.

2. Akin and Akin, Exalting Jesus in Proverbs, 173.

3. Akin and Akin, Exalting Jesus in Proverbs, 180.
   

Author Bio:

Maren Schettler is a Staff Editor for The Daily Grace Co. Though born and raised in the Upper Midwest, she now lives in Houston and is (slowly) adjusting to the Texas heat. She looks for any opportunity to travel, explore new genres of music and literature, and connect with people over coffee.

Additional Resources for Walking with Christ:

Flourishing in Motherhood		Eden to Eternity Bundle		Worthy | Identity Bible Study		Daughters of Grace | Women of the Bible Study
Loading price…		Loading price…		Loading price…		Loading price…
Add to Cart		Add to Cart		Add to Cart		Add to Cart