While we all know that Christians are to forgive others, the very concept of forgiveness might feel abstract or difficult, let alone mustering the godliness and courage to actually do it. So, in this blog post, I’d like to offer a very brief, Christ-centered theology of forgiveness and of its big brother, reconciliation, with the hopes of encouraging us to forgive freely. 

To give away the conclusion up front: Forgiving others is only possible because we have been radically forgiven through Christ. 

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Christians are to forgive, but what exactly are forgiveness and reconciliation?

When someone wrongs us, we feel slighted or hurt, and we can’t help but feel that the offender now owes us something—an apology, compensation, groveling, an equal hurt, etc. But forgiveness occurs when we refuse to seek what we think we are owed and instead absorb the cost of pain ourselves. And rather than nursing negative thoughts, we foster a godly attitude toward the offender.¹ 

Christians should always strive for this “attitudinal forgiveness” as Tim Keller describes it, and Ephesians 4:31–32 describes it as well.² Calling the Ephesians to live a life of love and unity, Paul states, “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another. . .” (emphasis added). To forgive, then, is to do the godly, internal work of exchanging bitterness and anger for compassion, forgiving those who have wronged us.³ Mark 11:25 suggests we should do this constantly: “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him. . .” (emphasis added). 

While Christians should constantly pursue attitudinal forgiveness within, reconciliation or “reconciled forgiveness” requires more. While attitudinal forgiveness is internal, “reconciled forgiveness” is its outward expression. Luke 17:3–4 describes this process well. The passage reads, “Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke tells us here that some sins require the offended to confront (“rebuke”) the offender in a way that encourages them to “repent,” which hopefully leads to reconciliation, the restoration of relational harmony to the degree possible.

Why Do We Forgive and How Is It Possible? 

Now, I know what many are thinking: You don’t know what I’ve been through. You can’t possibly expect me to forgive them for what they’ve done to me—let alone seek harmony with them! How can I possibly do that?

My simple answer is, well, Jesus. Christ perfectly embodied the proper attitude of forgiveness, and through His example and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can develop a similar attitude. 

As noted, attitudinal forgiveness requires the Christian to absorb the cost of pain rather than demand something from the offender, and reconciled forgiveness encourages the offended to confront the offender with the hope that they would repent. 

Christ did both perfectly.

Christ, our perfect Creator, has absorbed the pain of greater sins and offenses more than we ever could, thereby embodying perfect attitudinal forgiveness. On the cross, rather than wishing evil upon those who put Him there, He called out, “‘Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing’” (Luke 23:34). Also, Christ has extended reconciled forgiveness to the world, urging us to look at our blood-stained hands while He stands before us with open arms, waiting to reconcile us to Himself. 

For those of us who feel like forgiving a certain person is inconceivable, you might be right. Apart from Christ, it is likely inconceivable. Only by recognizing that we are the offenders—the ones who have sinned against our Creator and who put Christ on that cross to suffer humiliation, torture, and death—can we gain the perspective to forgive others.

In fact, that is exactly what Ephesians 4:31–32 and Mark 11:25 suggest when read in full. You may have noticed that I previously only quoted a portion of each passage, but the full passages read as follows:

• Ephesians 4:31–32: “Let

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  all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ” (emphasis added).

• Mark 11:25: “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing” (emphasis added). 

We forgive because we are forgiven. That is what these passages teach.

We don’t forgive because it is easy or fun, nor even because forgiving is “right” in some abstract sense. We forgive because God has forgiven us through Christ, even though we ourselves are undeserving, and we now extend that forgiveness to those who are equally undeserving. 

While we enjoy nursing our bitterness, the Holy Spirit calls us to mimic Christ’s radical forgiveness at the cross. Christ, the embodiment of love, experienced the humiliation, torture, and gratuitous evil of a Roman crucifixion. And yet, instead of feeling bitter and angry and calling down legions of angels to destroy those who were wronging Him, Jesus bore the cost of forgiveness—He suffered. Instead of seeking restitution, Jesus cried out on the cross, “‘Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing’” (Luke 23:34).  

The cross is where Christ laid down His life for my sin, your sin, and your offender’s sin. Remembering this transforms how we treat others; our sins are no bigger than anyone else’s, and Christ died for them all. Both our sins and our offender’s sins cost Jesus His life. And when we receive Christ’s forgiveness, recognizing how undeserving we are of that costly grace, the Holy Spirit begins to sanctify our attitudes. Instead of harboring malice, we can joyfully and freely dole out grace, because that is what we have received from our Creator. 

Paul explains that Christ reconciled the world to Himself through costly grace, sacrificial forgiveness. Now, as Christians, we can mimic Christ by becoming little ministers of reconciliation to those around us, extending undeserved grace to others as our Savior did to us.

Notes: 

1. Keller, Forgive, 210–211.

2. Keller, Forgive, 106. 

3. Keller, Forgive, 106–107.

Author:

CJ Gossage is an Editorial Manager for The Daily Grace Co. He enjoys reading, good food, and spending time outside with his wife and three children.

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