There is likely something you have or are currently walking through for which you do not have a “why.” For example, I do not know why God allowed my husband to die at the age of twenty-six. I do not know why God has ordained for my daughter to grow up without her dad. While I can see God’s grace in our life, I do not expect to receive a satisfactory “why” for what we have experienced. I do not know why God has allowed that hard thing in your life.

If we live long enough, we will experience truly painful things. Sometimes the worst-case scenario happens. Sometimes the disease doesn’t recede. Sometimes the interventions are not effective. Sometimes the bright side does not come. Sometimes things do not get better.

Because our current world is not the way God created the world in Genesis, we feel the deep chasm between the brokenness of our world and the pristine world in which God designed for us to dwell. We feel the effects of Adam and Eve’s sin down to the cellular level, and there are some awful things for which we have no “why.” Sometimes, in God’s grace, He gives us the ability to reflect on parts of our lives and see glimpses of His sovereign providence, and other times, we feel He is silent in our pain. So what do we do when we have no answers for our suffering?

When the “why” is out of reach, we are not without hope. Here are 4 biblically rooted responses to deep suffering.

1. Remember God’s Character During Suffering

When our hearts ask, What is God doing? or Why did God allow this? and we cannot see through the fog of grief, we shift our question to Who is this God who is with me in this? There is an inherent comfort in meditating on who our triune God is—especially when chaos swirls around us.

In His Word, we are reminded that God is the Creator and Ruler over all things and uses even awful things (such as the crucifixion) for our good and His glory. We know that He promised to defeat sin and give His people new hearts that allow them to know and worship Him (Ezekiel 36:26, Joel 2:28–32). God kept those promises in the sending of God the Son and God the Spirit. God the Son took on flesh, suffered, and died for us. He conquered sin and death, rose again, and is advocating for us now (Ephesians 1:20, 1 John 2:1). God the Spirit indwells us, comforts us, and ministers to us through the Word, reminding us of the perfect work of our covenant-keeping God (John 14:26). These are not truths sequestered to the seminary classroom or Sunday morning pews. Who God is remains a foundational, sustaining comfort for us as we walk through life this side of heaven.

In these moments when we struggle to see God at work in specific circumstances, it is all the more important to actively read Scripture. In seasons of acute grief or crisis, we often find ourselves too emotionally worn out to read, but God never intended Scripture reading to be a weighty duty or obligation. Scripture is God’s primary way of communicating His character and love to us, so it makes sense that we would dwell there as much as possible even—and especially—during seasons of suffering. Even a couple of verses each day that you meditate on and perhaps memorize will serve as an anchor to your heart. It matters not how much or for how long you read—the goal is to let God’s Word abide in your heart that you might abide in Christ (1 John 2:24).

As you rehearse these Scriptures to yourself, you may also find it helpful to remind yourself of theological truths through short refrains. Catechisms (which we may associate with teaching children) can be helpful tools for these. For example, from Question 1 of the New City Catechism: “What is our only hope in life and death? That we are not our own but belong . . . to God . . .”¹ These short, punchy, and memorable statements that summarize the truths of Scripture encourage us to continually bring to mind who God is. You might also try writing your own refrains that are informed by Scripture and tailored to your circumstances.

2. Bring Your Unanswered Questions to God

Even if we won’t receive the “why” we are looking for, we still ask God our deepest questions. We follow the examples of David and the authors of the lament Psalms and ask questions like, “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1, ESV). We turn our weary faces to God Almighty and address Him in our pain because He is a God who hears and sees (Genesis 16:13). We cry out with our questions to God Himself because of what is true about Him.

This does not mean that we will receive the specific answers our hearts long for. In most of the lament Psalms, the circumstances do not change by the end. Job cried out to God, and while God does not give him the answers to his questions, He does give Himself to Job (Job 38:1, 42:8). We do not have to pretend that we are not wrestling with unanswered questions, but we bring those questions to the throne of God.

3. Find Biblical Strength in Your Weakness

In Mark 9, Jesus addresses the father of a boy with the unclean spirit. When Jesus addresses whether the father believes that Jesus was capable of healing his son, the father says, “I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24, ESV). The father expressed both his faith and his lack of faith, but he did both before the Lord, believing that Jesus could help him even in his unbelief.

We can do all the right things in seasons of grief. We can read our Bibles, memorize verses, pour out our questions to God—and still struggle. We still need God Himself to help us believe all these truths about Him, that He is always good, that He will continue to keep all of His promises. We believe, and we need Him to help our unbelief. We do not need to hide our unbelief from Him; He calls us to do just the opposite—to bring it before Him and ask for help.

4. Find Comfort in Christian Community

We were not meant to walk through this life alone, and while God is always with us, He has also given us His Church to be our family. The people of God—simply by existing—testify to God’s faithfulness to redeem a people for His own possession (Titus 2:14). When it is hard to see God at work in our circumstances, gathering with fellow believers is a reminder that God does in fact keep His promises.

Being in their midst is a practical comfort to our hurting hearts as they proclaim and sing the truths that are hard for our own lips to utter. They can bring us meals, hold our sobbing shoulders, and join the worship of our lament when our words are few.

Conclusion: Resting in Hope When You Don’t Know Why

None of these encouragements are intended to imply that we should punt when the impossible questions arise. Rather, they offer a more honest, rooted path forward when attempts to rationalize, excuse, or fix our pain are insufficient or unhelpful. Each of these actions is a small step we can take to remind ourselves that God is not silent or absent in the face of suffering. We might not understand why we are suffering, but we can come to understand who is with us in it.

He is the God who sees. He is the God who knows. He is the God who came to dwell with us as Jesus Christ, who, in the face of some of life’s most profound suffering, joined us in crying out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46, ESV). Our suffering is not alien to Him, for He offers Himself to us in every season.

Notes:

1. From Question 1 of the New City Catechism, adapted from the Heidelberg Catechism; published by Crossway.

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Author Bio

Alyson Punzi is the author of He Always Hears: A Story of Loss and the Hope of Things Made New, a picture book designed to teach children how to lament and rely on God’s promises. She became a pastor’s widow when her husband, Frank, died suddenly of leukemia, and she now writes on lament, grief, and single motherhood. Alyson and her daughter, Lois, live in small-town Ohio. Connect with her on Instagram (@alysonpunzi) and through her newsletter (alysonpunzi.substack.com).

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Job Bible Study		Never Alone Bible Study		Daily Grace | How Jesus Answers Our Heartache with Himself		When Storms Rage		Faith Questions - Suffering
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