In one of my earliest memories of going to church, I was sitting between my mom and dad during “big church.” I knew the pastor was talking about the Bible, but my attention was on my coloring sheet or on the piece of my mom’s jewelry I had taken to fiddle with. As I got older and learned to read and write, I listened to the sermons with just enough attention to fill in every blank on the printed sermon notes my church offered. For a while, my parents and my best friend’s parents sat in the same row. But she and I lasted only a couple of weeks before her mom separated us because I talked too much.

I can’t tell you what a single one of those sermons was about—except one on Revelation that caught my ten-year-old brain’s attention—but I look back fondly on the routine of going to church, singing next to my parents, and watching them listen intently to Scripture.

Then, when I was about fourteen, I stopped attending church with my parents. The children’s ministry launched a new program during the “big church” hour, and I was asked to help lead it. I was so excited—I would get to act in skits, teach Bible lessons, and lead the elementary kids in worship songs with dances and hand motions. At the time, it felt like an exciting new ministry opportunity. Looking back, I see a much larger shift in broader Church culture, and the church I grew up in was far from the only one affected.

Children sitting in church with their parents—what I grew up doing—was the standard for most of Church history. Churches have offered age-specific Sunday School classes for a couple of centuries. But it was not until the 1990s that a “kids’ church” service running simultaneously with the regular service became popular in evangelical churches.

These kids’ church services began primarily as an evangelism tactic. They created a space where kids could receive attention, hear the Bible in language they understood, and have fun instead of sitting still through a forty-five-minute sermon written primarily for adults. Parents could focus on worship instead of on their children, assured that their kids were being taught and cared for. It was meant to be a win-win, keeping families coming through the door at a time when studies showed more and more people drifting away from church altogether.

In recent years, though, evangelicals have grown more interested in liturgical and ancient church practices. More people are open to the idea that the simple act of worship forms us spiritually just as much as the information we learn from sermons and Bible teaching. That shift has left many parents and church leaders wondering how best to minister to children and form them spiritually.

Should churches offer separate kids’ programs during the service, or should churches keep parents and children together—wiggles and all? Answers vary widely, even within a single denomination or tradition. But by and large, more liturgical traditions keep children in the service, while more contemporary, non-liturgical traditions offer child-specific services. Yet this question only skims the surface of a deeper, theological one: Is spiritual formation caught by participation and observation, or is it taught by relaying information in an age-appropriate way?

When Kids’ Church Makes the Most Sense

The heart behind kids’ church is the conviction that children learn best about God, the Bible, and the Christian faith when the teaching is shaped around them and their interests. Kids’ church explains biblical concepts and stories in ways children can actually understand.

In the regular service, the worship songs may be too complex for them, but in kids’ church, they would sing worship songs written for children. In the regular service, surrounded by adults, they might go unnoticed, but in kids’ church they will meet other children their age and build friendships and community. In the regular service, the Bible teaching is long, boring, and will go over their heads. But in kids’ church, the teaching will be age-appropriate, fun, and engaging.

The hoped-for outcome is a basic understanding of the Bible and the Christian faith, and an association of church with fun, friendship, and being cared for. Advocates of this approach to children’s worship see this as the necessary foundation for spiritual growth and lifelong connection to God and His Church.

When Worshiping Together Teaches More Than Words Can

Those who keep families together in worship start from a different conviction. Anyone—child or adult—comes to know God through participating in worship week after week, formed first by what they do and see rather than what they know.

Children may not understand sin and forgiveness, but through watching their parents confess their sins and hearing Christ’s forgiveness announced to them each week, they will experience it even before they understand it. They may not understand all the words in the worship songs, but through singing them alongside the whole congregation each week, they experience what it looks like to praise God joyfully. And by sitting through the sermon and watching adults listen intently, children learn that God’s Word is important and deserves our respect and attention.

The hoped-for outcome is that habits and values absorbed through observation and participation will surface as conscious conviction as children grow.

The Real Risks on Both Sides

As with any strongly held conviction, this one draws unkind accusations from both sides. Those who favor kids’ church are accused of just wanting a break from their children; those who keep kids in the service are accused of ignoring their needs and promoting ritualism. In truth, most people on both sides want what is best for their children and long to see them know and love God. Still, each approach carries risks worth naming and considering.

Kids’ church can distance children from the life of the church—or worse, from the faith of their parents. Research shows children are more likely to keep their faith into adulthood when one or both parents have an active faith life. So we must intentionally show our faith in practice to our children—especially if they will not see us worship on Sunday mornings.

A second pitfall is the shock children feel when they finally “graduate” from kids’ church—whether this happens in the preteen, teen, or young adult years. If they have never sat through a regular service, the jump to its quieter, more serious tone can make church hard to enjoy and deter them from enjoying it in the future. So churches and parents should look for ways to bring kids into regular worship, even if not every week.

On the other end of the spectrum, those who keep children in regular worship risk expecting liturgy and teaching to be totally absorbed by osmosis, neglecting to explain the Bible or the Christian faith in terms children can grasp. The fix is simple: Add a children’s Sunday School before or after the service or at other intentional times when kids receive direct attention. It also matters that adults model joy and fun in the service so that kids never feel like a burden or like they aren’t allowed to be themselves. This will foster a healthy relationship with the church and tell them that God and His people love them, however squirmy they may be.

It’s God Who Grows Their Faith, Not You

Pastors and parents love their children. They want nothing more than for their kids to feel loved—by them and by God—and to grow into adults who love God and others well. But God is the One who calls our children and gives the growth. We can and should do all we are convicted to do—modeling faith and worship, teaching them about His love and His Word. But in the end, it is God who is working in and through us, and it is God who is working in and through them.

If you liked this article, check out the related resources linked below!

Notes

1. Jesse Smith and Jane Lankes Smith, Passing the Torch: How Faith Moves Across Generations (Institute for Family Studies, 2026), https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/passing-the-torch-how-faith-moves-across-generations.

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Author Bio

Beth White is a Staff Writer for The Daily Grace Co. She is passionate about studying and teaching God’s Word. When she is not writing about the Bible, you can find her reading classics, drinking coffee with friends, or spending time with her family.

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