A couple of months ago, I was kneeling on my living room rug, in tears. Circumstantially, there was nothing going wrong in my life, at least nothing more than usual. I leaned over my knees and put my hands and forehead to the ground. Feelings of frustration and disillusionment welled up within me, and words were in short supply. A fog settled over my brain, and the usual tools I’d use to fight against such feelings—God’s promises, song and worship, and even just plain old logic—failed me.

I felt as though I’d been striving in my faith alone. I had community, but the testimonies they’d share with me seemed to be God’s technicolor gifts to them, while I felt my relationship with God had gone muted and gray. Even my knowledge of God’s Word didn’t seem to comfort me. I could spout out God’s promises from Scripture, but right now, those promises didn’t feel true. It felt like God had abandoned me to my own devices. It felt like He had left me. It felt like maybe He was working in other people’s lives but not in mine. It felt like He was letting the work He began in me fade and die, deciding not to carry it through to completion.

I started telling God all of that out loud. “God, it feels like You’ve left me. It feels like You’re making me do this on my own. It feels like all the work You’ve done in me and through me up to this point is all for nothing. Where are You in this?”

I fell quiet for a couple minutes, desperate for some sort of voice or spiritual shift within myself to tell me that He was answering or at least that He heard me. But nothing.

Except—“How long will you hide your face from me?”

The words from the psalm echoed in my mind. Well, that’s not helpful, I thought bitterly. The Holy Spirit reminded me of these words from Scripture, as Jesus said the Spirit would (John 14:26), but they were of no comfort for my fears. They only seemed to give language to my frustration, pulling from the psalmist’s own frustration toward God.

I couldn’t remember what psalm these words were found in, so I reached for my phone with hands wet from wiping away tears, and I found Psalm 13:

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long will I store up anxious concerns within me,

agony in my mind every day?

How long will my enemy dominate me?

Consider me and answer, LORD my God.

Restore brightness to my eyes;

otherwise, I will sleep in death.

My enemy will say, “I have triumphed over him,”

and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your faithful love;

my heart will rejoice in your deliverance.

I will sing to the LORD

because he has treated me generously.

I don’t think I’m alone in how I was feeling that night. You’ve probably been frustrated with God to the point of angry tears, too. The good news is, so has King David. And God ordained that David’s thoughts and feelings would be documented in Scripture for millennia so that we might have the words to pray when God’s promises feel empty. God reminds you right now: His promises are not empty, even when our feelings tempt us toward disbelief. Psalm 13 speaks to those moments when we feel like God has forgotten us, hidden Himself from us, or left us to overcome in our own strength. Each part of the psalm is essential, so don’t stop halfway!

Psalm 13:1–2 | Share Your True Feelings with God

How gracious is God that He can handle every mean and demanding word we throw at Him? If I were as mean and unfeeling toward my friends and family as I am toward God sometimes, I’m almost sure I’d still be feeling the sting of a slap across my face. But God—as holy and exalted and worthy of honor and praise as He is—lets us express all things to Him, even all the unsanctified words we’re afraid to say out loud. God doesn’t want anything short of complete transparency from you, because honesty is the launching pad for His transforming work. Honesty is the foundation for intimacy. Leaving your questions and frustrations bottled up within you, coming to God with a happy-Christian mask and empty praises, limits your faith. As one commentator puts it, “The irony of feeling that way and not expressing it to God is that God knows exactly how you feel.”¹ So why not tell Him?

If expressing these things to God feels unnatural to you, speak aloud the words of Psalm 13:1–2. Repeat those verses again. And don’t stop there. Let that part of the psalm carry out its work in you, opening up your feelings to God. Here’s what this kind of prayer may sound like:

God, I’m afraid to say these things aloud. But how long is it going to feel like I’m figuring out life on my own? It feels like You’ve abandoned me. It feels like You’re purposely hiding from me. What am I supposed to do with that? How long will anxiety rule my relationship with You? Are You there?

Psalm 13:3–4 | Ask God for What You Need

We don’t want to stop the lament process at our accusation. We need to move to petitioning. What is it that we need from God? David says, “Consider me and answer, LORD my God.” He acknowledges that God is still God, and he asks God to answer him. This is like a kid telling his parents, “Please stop what you’re doing and listen to me!” David wants God to restore him spiritually and physically. Don’t we want that, too? God’s attention? Restoration? Refreshment?

David admits here, “I am shaken.” What an honest moment from him; if only we were as honest with God. But this seems to be the turning point of the psalm. David recognizes his weakness.

This part of the psalm may sound like this in prayer:

God, please turn Your attention toward me. Would You restore me to Yourself? I desperately want to know You’re near, but I can’t trust my feelings. It feels like I’m losing in this. Help me, Lord.

Psalm 13:5–6 | Remember Who God Really Is

Lament finishes with a declaration of what is true about God. It may take time to get to a place of confidently believing the truth, and God knows that. He expects that. But He’s patient—so patient.

David exhorts his own soul, proclaiming that God’s love is faithful—His love can’t be anything but faithful. And not only that, but God has treated David generously. That’s a hard thing to say and believe in the middle of feeling forgotten by God. Yet David acts on his belief—he has trusted, rejoiced, and chosen to sing to the Lord. This faith that David expresses at the end of the psalm was always present in him. But his feelings and his circumstances tried to convince him that God would forget him, abandon him, and let his enemies dominate him. What his lament does is bring his head above water just enough to see the reality of the situation: God never left him, and He never stopped loving him.

Here might be a prayer you end your lament with:

God, You promise to never leave me or forsake me. I want to choose to believe that, even when my feelings tell me otherwise. Help me in my unbelief. I can’t do this on my own. Help me to choose to praise You and honor You as You deserve.

The process matters. We rarely come to a true belief and acceptance of the words in verses 5–6 if we don’t move through verses 1–4. Be honest, ask, and receive God’s truth. Do you feel the freedom to be honest with God? How often do you express your thoughts and feelings with Him? How might you begin to move through your emotions into the truth of God’s Word?

I pray that this psalm is your first step into freedom from shame in God’s presence and intimacy with the God who wants every part of you.

If you liked this article, check out the related resources linked below!

Notes:

1. Smith and Akin, Exalting Jesus in Psalms 1–50, 94.

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Author Bio

Maren Schettler is a Staff Editor for The Daily Grace Co.® Though born and raised in the Upper Midwest, she now lives in Houston and is (slowly) adjusting to the Texas heat. She looks for any opportunity to travel, explore new genres of music and literature, and connect with people over coffee. She loves to find new, beautiful ways to communicate God’s truth.

Related Resources:

Pray Bible Study		The Way of Wisdom | Proverbs Devotional		The Psalms | 3-Volume Bundle
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