Long before a friend confided her symptoms to me, months before we wept together over her horrible cancer diagnosis, a book on grief and loss caught my eye. Oddly, I ordered it, though at the time I had no obvious need for such help; I couldn’t think of anyone who was seriously ill.

That book sat settled in a basket in my living room for over a year, forgotten yet prepared for my anguish. When my friend died, I remembered the book. I marvel at the Lord’s orchestration—messages of hope and the Lord’s love were ready for me inside my house on the pages of that book before I needed them. I experienced evidence of Isaiah 65:24: “Even before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear.”

Oh, how we need His messages of hope and love after loss. Grief is heavy work to bear alone.

In the days after a death, I have come to expect raw grief to report for duty early, insisting on sadness before I’m fully awake. Regret barges in and clings. Tears are weird: constant, then strangely absent when expected. Irritation flares. Memories, emotions, and replays consume the mind and beg to be sorted and settled. Daily tasks, once habits when life was whole, appear as impossible burdens. Exhaustion demands sleep, but the night is a traitor, refusing rest. And sorrow’s entourage intrudes again the next day.

Grief is agonizing. You know that. I do not write to depress you further.

I write to remind you, weary one, that your grief is known by the Lord, you will know Him in new ways as you grieve, and He provides comfort and care through His Church.

I have been the weary one. Honestly, I still wrestle with my loss. But I have witnessed many wonders through tears, and I’d like to show them to you. If you are grieving, may I walk a few steps with you on this most difficult path? May I point out the places of reprieve? Together, let’s look at the Lord and His Church as only a griever can.

See His Invitation

You have been through much with a death and perhaps a funeral, memorial service, or burial.

Has the invitation of Matthew 11:28 ever been more meaningful? “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Turn and return to His Word as you grieve. In the pages of the Bible, we get to know who God is. When looking at His words through grief-filled eyes, we gain new views of God (Father, Son, and Spirit) that we might never have known without pain and void.

See the God of Isaiah and Job

If you have lost a parent, Isaiah’s mention of “Everlasting Father” (Isaiah 9:6) becomes a most precious promise. When an earthly mother or father is gone, the contrast between our finite earthly parent and our infinite heavenly Father is starkly evident. Though fatherless, we have a Father—One who never ends!

Grief articulates each of the other names attributed to God in Isaiah 9:6, too. Now we understand better why the familiar “Wonderful Counselor” and “Prince of Peace” titles are appropriate. We know He is wonderful when we turn to His Word for counsel and experience the inexplicable peace that rules when abiding there. And the Lord should indeed be called “Mighty God.” After tremendous loss, Job comprehended this. His vivid exchange with the Lord in Job 38–42 is a place for grievers to rest in wonder.

See Jesus as a Friend and the Spirit as an Advocate

If your tears are for a missing friend, or any loved one, it means much to know that Jesus experienced human life on earth. Realizing that He also grieved endears Him to us in our sadness. The Bible memorably points out that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35) when His friend Lazarus died—even though Jesus was also God and foreknew the happy resurrection ending. Rest in Jesus who has proven Himself as your Friend, One acquainted with grief.

If you’re consuming books on grief or are attentive to Christian music, you may notice specific Scriptures repeating in various platforms and speaking to your hurting heart. This is not random; this is the work of the Holy Spirit who teaches and reminds (John 14:26). Now His presence and His role as Advocate are clear.

See His Comfort

Here is another place to rest as you grieve: in the Church. The Lord supplies comfort through those He claimed as His own. Like you, the Church knows the grief of death. Most of the members you will never meet in person, but you share a connection: They have also wept at graves. They have offered their laments and songs and writings. They have published their pain, shared their sorrows. You will find their words familiar. These grievers who’ve wept before you agreed with Simon Peter who said, “Lord, to whom will we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68).

See His Care

The Lord is also behind the practical care His believers offer. They have grieved, and if they haven’t, they will. Many already know the agony of the loud losses: the loss of a husband, a wife, a parent, a child, a sibling, a grandparent. Many will express care in ways that similarly comforted them: presence, a hand at the funeral meal, a story of similar loss, a knowing look. Some fumble with words of comfort, so they offer words of prayer for you instead.

Believers understand quiet losses, too, the kind of loss that doesn’t come with a bulletin announcement or a week of casseroles and muffins. Many have miscarried, lost stepparents, uncles, aunts, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, friends, cousins. These losses may be overwhelming but aren’t often publicly acknowledged. Believers will care for you in grief—if they know about it. Present them your pain. Show them your tears. Invite prayer. Seek discussion on the hard questions about death if those thoughts are consuming you. Ask a pastor what to read, what to listen to. These moments of care are places of reprieve.

No one can fix grief for you. Even two people grieving the same person may respond differently to the same loss. But I pray that many, many believers surround you to shoulder your burden of grief with you through words of comfort and small acts of care. May they gently direct and redirect your eyes to Jesus. And may you know that Jesus Himself is always praying for you (Romans 8:34).

See the Opportunity Ahead

Remember that grief book that was in my house before I needed it? There’s more. I had actually ordered two copies. Not only was I already equipped with comfort for a grief I didn’t know was coming, I was also already equipped to comfort others in their grief. This is stunning orchestration. This is the Lord’s loving arrangement.

May 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NIV) prove true for you as well as grievers cross your path: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Through grief, may you know the Lord and His Word better, may you know His Church better. There is good work waiting for you. You are equipped.

Let’s Pray

Lord,

You have given, and You have taken away. Blessed be Your name.¹ Thank You for points of reprieve as we grieve: perspectives of You that we would not have known without these tears, and the comfort and care You provide through Your people. Even though we are weeping, strengthen us to keep sowing.² Place us in the paths of other grievers, especially those sorrowing silently, so that we may walk a few steps together in solace.³ And as we move along this painful way, may we be ever aware that You abide with us.⁴

Amen.

Take comfort in these precious verses referenced in the prayer:

1 1. Job 1:21

2 2. Psalm 126:5–6

3 3. 2 Corinthians 1:3–4

4 4. Luke 24:29

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Author Bio

Heidi Mosher is a writer and editor who calls Michigan home. She gathered these words with thanks to God for decades of friendship with Sarah, who has gone home to Jesus—the very Jesus who Heidi and Sarah learned to sing to when they were little girls together in Sunday school.

Daily Grace | How Jesus Answers Our Heartache with Himself		Gospel Hope in Grief and Loss		When Storms Rage		Gospel Hope in Pregnancy and Infant Loss
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