It's been just over two months since we said goodbye to our sweet girl, and I have to admit that I have been anxiously awaiting Easter. I have always loved Easter, there is something about celebrating the risen Savior surrounded by spring flowers and little girls in pretty dresses. But this year it is so different...
I remember singing songs about resurrection, songs that asked questions like "O death where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory?". I could sing that song from a spiritual standpoint, feeling so grateful that Christ was risen, but this year the words will mean so much more to my grieving heart. Jesus' resurrection means that we have eternal life, it means that He suffered for us, but that death could not hold Him. It means that he conquered death.
This year I know a bit more about what the sting of death is. I know the helpless feeling that the disciples must have felt on Friday, and on Saturday. My hearth can almost feel the pain that Mary, the mother of Jesus felt in those days as she doubtless wept uncontrollably. I know she felt the pain that only a mother who has lost a child knows. But, there is one thing that I know that they did not...Sunday is coming!
Even though I know I will feel the pain of Friday this week, I know that Sunday is coming, and that the pain will only last a little while. I know that weeping may endure for a night...but that joy will come in the morning.
When Sunday morning is here and I stand in our church and worship our risen Savior I know my emotions will probably be all over the place. A sweet mixture of sadness and joy. I will feel sadness because I will wish I was holding my sweet Sophia dressed in a matching Easter dress as Stella as we sing the songs that I love, and worship Jesus. But, I will feel joy...because He is Risen...and she is with Him today. I will feel joy that in the same way He conquered death on Easter morning, someday He will conquer death completely. I will feel joy because it will be a sweet reminder that someday I will be with them too. I will feel joy because in that moment when I worship my risen Savior, and sing with all my heart, I know that she will be doing the same thing.